Erasing the Past
by MagicMan01
Summary: A day after L's death, Light begins to feel incredibly guilty and regretful about the decisions he made leading up to the event. Ryuk notices Light's distress and offers him something that could mend the situation, but also possibly jeopardize Light's plans for the new world in the process. What is it, and will Light even accept the offer? LightxL.
1. Guilt

**This is my first **_**yaoi**_**-based fic, so if anything seems odd or off-kilter in any way, you'll know why. Before I start, though, I would like to note that this fic was inspired by **_**Erase the Feeling**_** by keikopanda102** **and **_**Death note: Renewal**_** by blackrain 2405, both of which are very interesting Light/L-oriented stories. Well, with that being said, here we go.**

**-Disclaimer- Death Note is, in my opinion, one of the best anime/manga out there, but was co-created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. Obviously, that means I don't own it. Damn...**

* * *

**Chapter 1 - Guilt**

As Light sat alone on the king-sized bed of his bedroom, he thought about everything that had happened within the last twenty-four hours.

Rem had written L and Watari's names in her Death Note, but had also died herself because her motives for doing so were out of feelings for Misa. Light, faking an outburst at L's death, had easily reached the server room before the rest of the task force members and snatched Rem's notebook unbeknownst to them. Accompanying L's body to the local hospital, Soichiro Yagami returned to the headquarters some time later and confirmed the detective's death.

Earlier today, L was given a private funeral, which was attended by all of the task force members, Light included. At the end of the service, his casket was closed and it was decided that he would be buried the next day. Afterwards, while most of the other task force members had either gone back to the operations center or gotten something to eat from the cafeteria on the first level, Light had excused himself on account of feeling tired and returned to his room.

He then took off the suit he'd worn to the funeral, dressed in something more casual, and sat on his bed heavily in thought. He hadn't moved an inch since then.

Staring blankly at the wall in front of him, he pondered over his own condition at the moment. Why wasn't he more energetic? After nearly a year of being hounded by the world's greatest detective, he had finally gotten close enough to him and, with the help of extenuating circumstances, rid himself of the man once and for all. He should have been happy. Hell, he should have been ecstatic!

So, after achieving a major victory in his plan to create the perfect new world, why was he feeling this sudden... emptiness?

Never before in his entire life had he felt like this; like he was _missing _something. Oh, he'd experienced boredom before the Death Note, but not _emptiness_. Now, it almost felt like he was missing a huge part of his life that he'd never noticed before and would never be able to get back again.

Could it possibly be... _L_?

No. No, of course it couldn't! Why would he be missing his archenemy? Why would he feel the slightest bit of remorse over removing the biggest obstacle in his way?

There was no way in _hell _it could be that intolerable, arrogant bastard who had caused him so much trouble over the past year. He was a nice challenge, sure, but Light wasn't really _sorry _he was finally gone now... right?

Still, though, he couldn't shake a certain feeling of regret that his greatest rival was finally dead. Regret for what, though? He had been a major nuisance and an upset to Light's plans for the new world. There was no way Light would have been able to rid himself of the man through any means other than killing him. Knowing L, the detective would have pursued him to the end of the Earth if it meant confirming his suspicions about Light being Kira.

So yes, in the end, his death was necessary.

Light's head suddenly shot up from where he was absentmindedly staring at the wall. Just why in the _hell_ was he thinking so much about L, anyway? Why were all of these feelings suddenly assaulting him like never-ending tidal waves? There was absolutely no logical reason for him to have these feelings right now, _especially _concerning L.

He was really the last person Light should have been pondering over at this time, and yet, here he was! Something was obviously very wrong, and yet, being one of Japan's top students, even his brilliant mind wasn't able to sort out something as simple as his own emotions.

This was a problem. A big problem, actually. If he couldn't sort this out right now, then how would he be able to properly function as the god of the new world in the near future?

It was very rare that he was unsure of something, but this happened to be one of those times and it actually kind of scared him. He really needed to get himself straightened out as soon as he could or he would surely suffer for it later on.

Shaking his head, Light stood up and stretched out, trying to find something to occupy himself with to put these indecipherable thoughts behind him. The problem was, with L's death, the Kira investigation had come to a screeching halt and had to start over from scratch. Along with the fact that all of the data gathered during the investigation had been permanently deleted by Watari seconds before his death, there really wasn't much to do.

Light groaned and fell backwards onto the bed, putting a forearm over his eyes.

God, there had to be _something _he could do to take his mind off of all these damn feelings! The more he thought about them, the more distraught he became. It was almost as if everything he had pushed to the back of his mind and tried to forget about since meeting L had suddenly come into the light and was making its very presence known to the eighteen-year-old.

_The security cameras! _a thought suddenly screamed across his subconscious.

Shooting up in his bed, his eyes widened and a small grin tugged at his lips. He now had something to do! Even if the data had been wiped from the servers, the footage collected from the security cameras was located on an entirely different network and almost certainly wouldn't have been purged with the other data.

Since the investigation was starting over fresh, what was the point of keeping useless, old footage from security cameras? Yes, that would be the perfect thing to get his mind off of... him. He didn't even want to think of his name in fear of bringing back the thoughts from minutes ago.

Rising from the bed, he slipped his shoes on and made his way out of his suite to the security monitoring room.

* * *

Several floors later, Light arrived at the door to the security room.

He was almost completely certain that the steel door was locked, but he tried it anyway. He wasn't surprised when it didn't budge and glanced over at the handprint scanner to the right of the door frame. He hoped the security access database hadn't been purged as well, or there was almost no way he was getting in here.

Taking a deep breath, he slowly raised his palm to the scanner and placed it on the smooth surface. The scanner whirred and blinked a few times before stopping. It then made a series of beeps and seemed to search for his information while he waited.

At this point, Light was almost sure it wouldn't accept the print, but was pleasantly surprised when his photographic image and personal information appeared on the graphics screen next to the scanner. The light flashed green and he heard the door click. Releasing the breath he felt like he'd been holding for an eon, he pushed through to the other side and let the door shut behind him.

Plopping down in the swivel chair, Light quickly began to work on deleting the old security footage. There was no need to boot up the system, as it was almost always on in the first place. As his fingers danced across the keyboard, though, he began to have those feelings again.

Damn it, why the hell wouldn't they go away?! He couldn't stop thinking about L! Since acquiring the Death Note, he'd never once felt any remorse or guilt over killing the criminals whose names he had written down. Once a name was written, he never looked back upon it.

Maybe that was the reason why he was having an emotional train wreck today. L hadn't been some stupid, merciless criminal who preyed upon the innocent and took advantage of them for his own personal gain. No, in fact, he was the exact opposite; he had been the world's greatest detective, a man who had dedicated his entire life to upholding justice and protecting the innocent from harm.

His death had been different from everyone else.

Since the day he met L, Light had never taken a moment to put himself in the other man's shoes - that was, if he ever wore any - and see the world through his eyes. He couldn't even begin to imagine how difficult it must have been for him to communicate with another person, let alone create something special like a close friendship with one. He remembered quite clearly that L had deemed Light as his first friend, something that hadn't been lost upon him when it was said.

Even though L may have lied and deceived an innumerable amount of times for the sake of the investigation, there wasn't a single doubt in Light's mind that the man had been telling the truth. Because of his secret occupation, he'd practically been a recluse his whole life, never having a need to go outside and socialize with anyone else. Whether it had been a genuine friendship or not, Light couldn't say, but what he did know was that even if he'd been L's top Kira suspect, the detective had trusted him.

Because of his motives and actions, Light had practically taken the man's trust, crumpled it up like a piece of paper, and thrown it into a roaring fire. Days ago, he would have laughed at the idea of considering L a friend, but now that he had actual time to reflect, Light seriously began to feel a sense of guilt wash over him.

But that wasn't his only problem. Oh, _no_; that was only the tip of the iceberg.

Deep down inside of himself, there was something he'd kept locked away in the darkest depths of his soul. It was something that, even under the worst possible circumstances, he never would have admitted to another soul on the planet. It was something that he never thought he was capable of finding in another human being.

_Attraction_.

Though he even tried to deny it himself, Light knew that some part of him had been attracted to L Lawliet.

It had all started a few months ago when he lost his memories as Kira and began working alongside L during the Yotsuba murders, when he'd been handcuffed to him 24/7. That was when he genuinely believed that he wasn't, and never had been, Kira. Because of this, during that period of time, he had considered L a close ally and even an acquaintance. Working with him on the case became almost a natural daily routine.

But after the first few weeks of confinement with the detective, he gradually began to develop feelings for him.

At first, they were purely those of one seeking a friend. Before L, he'd never been able to relate to anyone else on his own intellectual level. He always had to slow down or explain things step by step in terms that others could understand what he was saying. He was just too intelligent for them.

L, however, was just as intelligent, if not more so, than Light. Every time they spoke, even if there were other people in the room, it was just the two of them holding their own conversation. They were so on-par with each other that sometimes, they even finished the other's sentence for them.

Though their physical traits and personal preferences varied in extremes, they shared a great deal intellectually, ideologically, and ethically. However, this feeling of friendship eventually gave way to a whole new dimension in Light's life.

Every time he saw or even thought of L, he instantaneously began to feel warm. It felt as if small electrical sparks were coursing throughout his entire body. During those times, his throat felt dry and he couldn't speak. It was probably the only time that his brain wouldn't properly function the way he wanted it to.

Of course, he constantly tried to make up excuses for feeling like this. He would always blame it on a lack of sleep, indigestion, or a common illness, and for a while, it was an easy game to play. But eventually, he knew he had to accept the truth and accept the true reasoning behind these strange moments in his life.

Eventually, he had to accept the fact that he was falling for L.

Though eighteen years old, Light had never really been in a serious relationship with anyone before. His school work and grades always came first. He never had time for anything as sophomoric and ridiculous as a love life. Hell, the few friends he had throughout his school career just served as mere entertainment for him when he became bored.

As a direct result, he'd never really even considered his sexual preference.

Like the average male teenager, he always thought himself to be straight since the day he was born. Had he actually gotten out and explored the wonders of being in a relationship with someone else, though, he may have discovered that the opposite sex just wasn't his type. Then again, before L, he'd never felt attracted to anyone else in the first place. No one else had even come close to his IQ range, and thus he had found it hard to relate to anyone on a social level because of that.

As the days handcuffed to L started to grow in number, Light began to seriously question his own sexuality. The more he told himself he was straight, the more he was contradicted by sneaking glances or small touches of the other man. It was bad enough that he had to sit next to L all day, but the worst was when he had to sleep next to him in the same bed at night or take showers only a room away from him, still attached to him by the unusually long metal chain of the handcuffs.

It was almost too much to bear.

At one point, he considered telling the detective just how he felt about him, but he decided against it almost as quickly after imagining how it would play out in his mind. He was almost certain that if he announced his feelings to him, the man would instantly shoot him down by either telling him that he wanted to keep their relationship strictly on a working basis or, more likely, that he just wasn't gay. The fear of rejection proved far too much for him and he never came back to that thought, choosing to keep it out of even his own mental reach.

Stopping his search for the old footage, Light suddenly thought about something that he'd never even considered before: what _was_ L's sexuality in the first place?

He could go with society's obvious expectations that since he was a man, he must have been straight, but maybe... just maybe... he was _gay_. The chances were probably slim to none, but what if he actually was? Light wouldn't have thought any differently of him, of course, but he certainly would have been surprised!

He chuckled softly, shaking his head in disbelief of what he was thinking. _Of all the things I could be thinking about right now, I'm trying to figure out which team L played for, _he thought.

It didn't really matter, though... or did it?

Light's eyes narrowed and his brows furrowed in sudden determination. He no longer _wanted _to know; he _had _to know. If he never pursued this, it would continuously gnaw at him for the rest of his life. He _knew _it would.

Unfortunately, because of yesterday's events, his options of figuring this out were extremely limited, but his best bet would be the security footage.

Glancing down at the keyboard, he looked back up at the monitors and continued his search of the old footage, now with a sudden determination and true purpose. Within a few minutes, he was able to narrow down all of the footage taken from the suite he and L shared over the past three months. Recalling August 1 as being the day the task force had been moved to this facility, Light started from there and continuously scanned the footage from that day up until November 5, which was yesterday.

He breezed through August and September easily enough, finding nothing out of the ordinary occurring in his and L's bed at night. The most the detective did in his sleep was toss and turn a little, and on the nights he didn't sleep at all, he simply sat in bed and worked on his laptop.

Light couldn't help but smile to himself.

He remembered that L had been an insomniac and got very little to absolutely no sleep on a daily basis, and it was interesting to see how he "operated" at night while Light was asleep. Then, the smile was quickly replaced by a frown and a shake of his head. He had to stay focused on the task at hand and continue his search.

He was only a week into the footage of their room from October when he noticed something peculiar on one of the nights.

He quickly paused the footage, rewound it, and played it at normal speed. He leaned forward and stared closely at the screen. According to the time displayed in the lower corner of the screen, it was just after two in the morning. Keeping his focus on L, Light carefully observed the detective as he sat up in bed and turned his head to look at the still-sleeping Light. His heart rate picked up when he noticed L reach over towards his face.

Light swore as he fumbled for the zoom function to get a closer look at what the man was doing. Now at a better vantage point, he gasped when he saw L brush some of the bangs out of his closed eyes. His hands gripped the arms of the chair as he continued to watch the scene unfolding before him on the monitors.

L slowly moved his hand through Light's hair and stroked it almost as a lover would. Light's eyes widened in shock.

He somehow managed to remain silent for the next ten minutes, watching the screen as L stroked his hair and seemed to be whispering something to him. Unfortunately, his back was to the camera, so Light wouldn't have been able to tell what he was saying even if he tried to lip-read his words. After some time, L laid his head back down on the pillow and went to sleep.

Light was still staring slack jawed at the screen, his eyes were now almost comically wide. What the hell had just happened? One minute, L was stirring in his sleep, and the next, he was stroking Light's hair like he was his goddamned boyfriend or something!

Surprisingly, though, Light wasn't angry; far from it, in fact.

He was purely stunned at what he'd just witnessed from the security footage. Still, though, this wasn't enough to prove his theory.

It was like solving a crime: L was the suspect and Light was the detective. In order to solve the crime, Light needed more evidence against L.

Sitting back down in the chair, a little uneasily this time, he fast-forwarded to the next night and saw a similar scene play out; L woke up, turned over on his side, stroked Light's hair for a good fifteen minutes, and went back to sleep. Light shook his head in disbelief as he went to the next night.

So it _wasn't _just a coincidence. Still, not enough to go by on L's sexuality.

The next night was almost exactly the same, and when Light fast-forwarded to the one after it, it was like déjà vu. In fact, every night out of the whole week was like that. There was a slight addition to this process when he got to the third week in October, however; this time, before L went to bed, he kissed the top of Light's head and whispered something into his ear before going back to sleep.

Light nearly leapt out of his chair when he saw L kiss his hair.

"Oh my God," he whispered to himself.

No. No, this couldn't be happening. L had... no, it was just an act! There was no way in _hell _that L had... _NO!_

"T-There's no way..." Light shook his head as he suddenly felt a sort of pain behind his eyes.

His hands gripped the table in front of him until they turned white as he continued shaking his head from side to side, his perfectly combed hair now starting to come undone. The pain began to build up behind his eyes until he realized what was about to happen; he was going to cry.

He couldn't even _remember_ the last time he'd cried, it had been so long. He tried to force the tears back, to stall the inevitable from happening, but it was in vain. His eyes began to grow hot and watered up, and seconds later, he felt a hot, wet drop of saline slowly roll down his cheek. It continued at a slow pace until it reached his chin and fell off, dropping to hit the table below him with an almost inaudible plop.

Another followed it, then another, and then another, and soon, the tears were flowing freely from his eyes. Quietly sobbing, Light's knees began to shake and he felt himself lose his balance. Falling back into the chair, he bowed his head forward and held it in his hands as the tears continued like a broken dam.

"Why, L?" he sobbed. "Why?"

He now realized with a sudden clarity as to why he was feeling incredibly guilty; not only had he used and practically murdered L, but he'd also destroyed any possibility of a relationship between the two of them. What had started as a somewhat awkward friendship could have blossomed into full-blown love, if only he had accepted his own feelings and gotten past his foolish pride to ask L. If he'd given up being Kira, confessed everything to L, and stopped the judgments once and for all, then maybe, just _maybe_, L might have forgiven him and caved in to the feelings they had for each other.

But L was _dead_.

Light couldn't just wish him to be alive and see him again; he was gone. Gone forever. As he sobbed into his hands, he admitted his mistake aloud, something that he almost _never_ did. It seemed that mourning over L by himself made him do things he rarely ever did.

"I'm sorry, L," he choked on his tears. "I wish... I just wish I could go back in time to do it all over again. I can't believe how incredibly _stupid _I was! I'd give up _everything_ for you, even being Kira. Because the truth is, L... I could never be the god of a new world if you weren't in it."

"Hyuk hyuk hyuk! Well, _that _was certainly unexpected!" a gravelly voice suddenly laughed behind him.

* * *

**Let me know what you thought of this first chapter in your reviews! I'd really like to know if there's anything I need to look over or improve upon. Positive feedback is always nice, as well. This fic will probably be under fifteen chapters long, so that's about as much as you can realistically expect to be in it. Anyway, hope I can get the next chapter up relatively soon. See you around!**


	2. Deal

**Well, after a week of Boy Scout summer camp and another week of seeing my cousins who came in from California, I'm back with a new chapter! In this one, something is mentioned that is not part of the official anime or manga, but rather a pilot for the manga that didn't make the final cut.**

**As such, it is **_**not**_** an original idea of mine. I would say what it is, but that would reveal a major plot point that I would prefer to keep hidden for the time being. Trust me, though, I'm almost certain you'll all know what it is when you see it.**

* * *

**Chapter 2 - Deal**

Light's eyes shot open at once and he ceased sobbing as soon as his mind registered who that voice belonged to. He raised his head and glanced over his shoulder behind him.

Ryuk was hovering right in front of the closed door, still laughing as his eyes were set on Light. Light had almost forgotten how easy it was for Shinigami to get around in the Human World, especially with their large wings and ability to materialize through objects.

Quickly wiping his puffy eyes with the back of his hand, he spun the chair to face Ryuk. "What are you doing here, Ryuk?" he demanded, narrowing his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest. "I thought I told you not to bother me today."

Ryuk couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I know what you said, but it was just so _boring _without you around! I was going to your suite when I saw you heading downstairs and decided to follow you."

"Really?" Light raised an eyebrow incredulously. "You sought me out because you were _bored_?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Ryuk shrugged nonchalantly.

Light sighed, shaking his head. "Why does that sound familiar to me?"

"Hey, no one _told _you to pick up that notebook in the first place!" Ryuk defended, knowing what the teenager was referring to. "You could have just walked away. Besides, I just randomly dropped it into the Human World. It's not like I knew it would end up in the Kantōregion of Japan!"

Light narrowed his eyes, his annoyance and impatience growing with every word spoken by the Shinigami. "That's beside the point, Ryuk. You still haven't answered my question. Not honestly, at least."

Ryuk's eyes widened, clearly thrown off by the truthful accusation. He should have known better by now than to try and either lie or hide something from Light. He definitely wasn't the average, brainless human Ryuk had expected to find when he came down to the Human World to possess whoever happened to pick up the Death Note.

Reminding himself of just who he was dealing with and what exactly he was capable of, he decided to be honest rather than dig himself into a hole he surely wouldn't be able to get out of if he continued. "Well, I actually _am _pretty bored," he admitted, "but no, that's not the real reason I came down here."

Light cocked an eyebrow. "Then why _did _you follow me, especially after I told you not to bother me?"

Ryuk sighed. "Well, you just seemed really... I don't know, _off _today, and I couldn't figure out why, so I figured I would just see what it was for myself. Obviously, though, I'm pretty sure I've figured it out." His eyes went up and over Light, focusing on what was behind him.

Light followed his gaze and turned around to realize that he'd left the security footage still running. Swearing under his breath, he quickly shut the system down as Ryuk laughed again. Though the screens were now all black, Light knew Ryuk wasn't going to forget what he'd just seen and would pester him about it until he got an answer.

Sighing as he ran a hand through his hair, Light slowly spun around in his chair and eyed the floating Shinigami before him. Ryuk chuckled at the look of exasperation on the face of someone who was usually so calm and calculating.

"Well?" Light demanded after several moments of silence between the two.

"Well, what?" Ryuk asked.

"You _know_ what, Ryuk. Don't play games with me."

"Oh, that?" Ryuk pointed to the empty screens behind Light.

"Yes, _that_," Light nodded. This was becoming almost painful. Why was Ryuk beating around the bush so much?

"Oh, I don't know," Ryuk shrugged. "I figured you would explain it to me."

Light sighed heavily and turned the chair around to face the monitors again. "There's nothing to explain, Ryuk," he muttered in annoyance. "You already know what it is, so there's no point in me even saying anything."

"Oh, come on!" Ryuk pressed, barely suppressing a laugh. "You won't even admit that you had feelings for the guy?"

There was a moment of silence before Light spoke again.

"Just because he may have had feelings for me doesn't mean they were mutual between us. We were work partners. That's all. I didn't even know about this until I saw it today."

"You can't just sit there and tell me that you aren't at least a _little _bit surprised!" Ryuk continued to press. "I mean, I don't really care about your world's sentimental human crap, like love and all that, but even I can see something _that _obvious!"

Light quickly spun around in the chair, startling the Shinigami a bit. He was shocked to see Light's shaky and watery eyes staring at him with more emotion than he'd ever seen in them.

"So what if I might have loved him, Ryuk?" he said quietly and coldly. "Like you said, you aren't even into sentimental human crap. Why should _you_ care? He's dead now. I did what I had to in order to ensure peace and order for the new world. So, I had to sacrifice the possibility of a relationship for progress. In the end, it's a small price to pay.

"If I became selfish and just focused on one person in the world to pay special attention to, then how would I be any different than the scum that I've judged? I wouldn't be the ruler of a new world; I'd just be a hypocrite. I mean, do you realize how distracted I would have become if I'd have been in a relationship? I wouldn't have been able to focus on my goals and successfully lead the new world; I would have been too focused on L to even care about my ultimate destiny.

"There are only two kinds of people in this world, Ryuk; the good and the evil. There is no gray area. No in between. In order to keep the world the way it's supposed to be, there needs to be some kind of justice system set up to protect the innocent and punish the guilty. Those fools in the court systems and law enforcement obviously couldn't do it. They needed help, so that's where I came in.

"Kira is right. Kira is just. He certainly doesn't need something as miniscule and absurd as a lover to help him. How can he rule the world and judge those who are unworthy of life on this planet if he's also occupied with a relationship? You see my point, Ryuk? The very idea of L and I being together in the first place is completely ridiculous and I refuse to think about what could have been any longer. This discussion is over."

Light got up and headed for the door, making his way past Ryuk. Just as he gripped the door knob, though, the scratchy voice stopped him from proceeding any further.

"So, you're just gonna forget about it?" the Shinigami asked.

Light sighed, rolling his eyes. If he ignored him and walked out the door, the persistent bastard would just follow him and incessantly bug him about it until he got a response. Reluctantly, he let go of the door knob and turned around to face the god of death.

"Yes, Ryuk," Light answered almost mechanically. "I'm just going to forget about it. I thought I was very clear about that a few moments ago."

"You aren't even going to go over the rest of the footage or anything?" the Shinigami verbally nudged him. "You were only in October. He died yesterday, which was November 5. You aren't going to see what he did while you were asleep all those other nights?"

Light snorted, folding his arms across his chest. "Why should I? I already got my answer, didn't I? There's no sense in dwelling on the past. Besides, what more could he have possibly done?"

Ryuk was silent for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know, just a thought that might change your mind."

"Change my mind?" Light asked, unfolding his arms and suddenly taking an interest as to what the Shinigami was saying. "About what?"

"Oh, just an offer I had," Ryuk shrugged again. "But since you don't seem to be taking much of an interest..."

"How _can _I if you won't even tell me what it is, Ryuk?!" Light rose his voice and spread his arms apart in annoyance. "What offer are you talking about?"

"Okay, okay!" Ryuk put his hands up in defense whilst chuckling. "I was just messing with you, is all. I was going to offer you something that might cheer you up."

Light froze, gasping in surprise. What could this devious Shinigami possibly offer him that would cheer him up? He decided to ask. "And... what would that be?" he asked tentatively.

Ryuk chuckled as he reached into his side pocket to retrieve something.

Light's eyes watched his every move, anxiously waiting for what would be offered to him. Fumbling around for a few more moments, Ryuk pulled his large hand out of his pocket and made a fist around the object to obscure it from Light's view. He extended his arm to Light, eyeing him carefully as he did so.

Slowly, Ryuk opened his hand for Light to see what was being held in the oversized palm. When the fingers were finally open, the teenager gasped when he saw what Ryuk was holding.

It was a small, rectangular eraser that he would have expected to see in school. The only noticeable difference between it and a regular eraser he was used to seeing was that about three-fourths of it was black while the other fourth was white. He glanced up at the god of death.

"What is this?" he inquired.

"It's called a Death Eraser," Ryuk explained. "It pretty much works in the opposite way that the Death Note does. If you kill someone with the Death Note, you can erase their name with the Death Eraser, and in forty seconds, they'll come back to life. The nice thing about it is that it'll work on anything you use to write someone's name down in the Death Note; pencil, pen, blood, makeup, whatever. Also, it will automatically restore the victim back to the way they were before they were killed with the Death Note. So, for example, if you killed someone by having them burn to death and erased their name later on, they would come back without any burnt skin or clothing."

Light glanced down at the eraser for a moment before fixing his gaze on Ryuk again. There _had _to be some kind of a catch. If the Death Note had rules, then it was highly likely that the Death Eraser did, too.

"I imagine there are some stipulations to this?" he asked.

"Yeah," Ryuk nodded, "there _are_ a few. Firstly, it'll only work on a name that's been written within 365 days prior to you erasing it. Next, you have to erase the whole name in order for it work. Erasing only part of the name won't do anything. Then, obviously, you can't use it on a person who wasn't killed by the Death Note. Lastly, you can use it on someone's name up to a maximum of four times. Any more than that and it will no longer have an effect on that person. Get all that? You know I hate repeating myself."

Light nodded. "Yeah, I got it." Reaching for the eraser, he took it from Ryuk's palm with his thumb and forefinger; somewhat how L used to hold everything he touched. Putting it in his pocket, he looked up at Ryuk again. "Why are you giving this to me in the first place?"

Ryuk chuckled. "I don't know. I just figured you might have some fun with it. Seeing how you tested the Death Note and killed all those people creatively like that makes me interested in how you would use the eraser. No matter how you look at it, it's a win-win situation; you have another tool to help you and I have something else to be entertained with. Hyuk hyuk hyuk! Of course, though, if you don't want it..."

Light quickly shook his head, surprising even himself at how fast he was jumping at this opportunity. "No, I'll keep it, thanks. By the way, you're just giving this to me for free, right? No trade or anything?"

Ryuk nodded. "Yeah, pretty much. It's not like the Eye deal where you have to give me half your remaining lifespan or anything. It's completely free. No strings attached. Well, none besides the rules I've already explained to you, of course."

"Right," Light nodded back. "So, what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know, just wait for you to do something interesting, I guess."

_Go figure,_ Light mentally rolled his eyes. "Well, see you around, Ryuk," he waved goodbye instead, turning to get the door.

Ryuk's eyebrows rose. _He's never said goodbye like that before, _he thought. _And so suddenly, too! Something tells me he's gonna have a lot of fun with that eraser._

Cackling in his usual manner, he floated up and out of the room as Light hurried out the door, letting it close with a metallic clank behind him.

* * *

Panting as he closed the door to his suite behind him, Light took off his shoes and fell backwards on the bed. Not wanting to wait for the elevator, he practically ran all the way back up to his room and was now sweating a bit. Reaching into his pocket as he gasped for breath, he withdrew the eraser and held it to his eye level.

_First, I had the power to take life away from whomever I wanted, _he thought, _and now I have the power to give it back. How ironic._

Though he didn't want to admit it, he knew exactly why he was so excited about getting this eraser in the first place. It was because of _L_. Light smiled to himself at the thought of reviving the man with the Death Eraser, but quickly frowned.

What if L didn't _want _to be brought back to life and would rather stay dead because of Light's motives? What if he still thought he was Kira?

That was another dilemma; if he brought back L, what would he do as the ruler of the new world? He could make him an assistant or something, sure, but... what if L didn't agree to it? No, he _certainly _wouldn't agree to it.

He'd practically spent his whole life putting the worst people in the world behind bars. He wouldn't just suddenly turn his back on his morals and ethics, even if he may have been in love with a major suspect he didn't want to believe was Kira.

Light inwardly groaned.

Would it even be _worth _it to revive L? In the best possible scenario, the detective would accept him as his lover and choose to put the whole thing behind the two of them. Or, more likely, he would just have Light arrested on the spot and tried for mass murder. He only had two choices to decide between, but either one would affect him for the rest of his life.

If he chose to resurrect L, a variety of things would possibly happen to him, most of them not ending in his favor. The chances of L allowing Light to be his lover were slim, but there was still a chance. He could risk it and either end up on death row or with L.

Or, if he chose to forego reviving him and waited a whole year, he would never have to worry about the detective ever again. He wouldn't be a nuisance because there would no longer be any possibility of bringing him back from the dead. However, if he waited past the deadline to revive L, he would never know if there could have been something between them had he actually done it. He would more than likely regret it for the rest of his life.

Light sighed heavily as he shut his eyes and dropped the eraser on the bed beside him, letting his arm fall down with it.

That damn L.

If only he hadn't come along, Light wouldn't be stuck in this position right now. Why did he have to fall in love? He heard it did crazy things to people, but this... this was just a whole new level. He glanced over at the clock. The red, digitized numbers read 2:02 p.m.

Mentally shrugging to himself, he rolled over to place the eraser on the nightstand and returned to his original position on his back. If he couldn't make up his mind right now, perhaps a quick nap would clear his mind and ease his thinking process. Getting more comfortable on the bed and adjusting his head on the pillow, he relaxed and closed his eyes.

* * *

Light's eyes shot open at the sound of the telephone ringing.

Yawning, he glanced over at the nightstand and was shocked to see that it was already 6:29 p.m. He hadn't expected his nap to take _this _long. Reaching across the table for the phone, he picked it up and held the receiver to his ear.

"Hello?" he asked groggily.

"Light?" Soichiro Yagami's voice acknowledged him on the other line. "I hope I didn't wake you up. I was just wondering if you were having dinner tonight."

"Oh, hey Dad," Light answered, sitting up and rubbing his eyes with one hand as he held the phone with the other. "Yeah, I just took a quick nap, but it's fine. No offense or anything, but I think I'm just going to stay in tonight. I'll just order room service."

Though there weren't any actual guests in the building, as it was strictly for the task force, there _were _some attendants and employees who worked at the building throughout the day in case anyone should need anything.

"No, none taken," his father's understanding voice assured him. "You don't have to eat with me if you don't want to. I was just offering."

"Thanks for the offer anyway, Dad," Light responded. "Normally, I'd say yes, but... I just have a lot on my mind right now."

His father sighed. But it wasn't a disappointed sigh; it was one of compassion and knowing what his son must be going through right now.

"Look, Light, I know Ryuzaki was your work partner and even a good friend, and I can't even imagine what you're going through right now. All I want to say is that if you need someone to talk to, if you need a release..." he trailed off.

"Thanks, Dad," Light picked up where his father was going. "I might take you up on that offer sometime, but not right now. I'd just like to be alone for a little while."

"I understand, son. If you feel that you're most comfortable dealing with the situation on your own for the time being, I'm fine with that. Do whatever you feel is necessary... as long as it's in a healthy manner, of course. Just know that I'm always here if you need me. I love you, Light."

"Love you too, Dad," Light answered. He waited for his father to hang up before he did the same on his line.

Sighing as he lay back down, he stared up at the ceiling and began to recall his thoughts from right before he fell asleep. He closed his eyes, internally struggling to reach a decision. His analytic mind carefully outweighed the positives and negatives of both choices, coming up with every possible scenario and outcome he could think of.

After minutes of self-debate, he slowly opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling once more. He now had his answer. Sitting up and getting out of bed, he walked across the room to the window and drew the curtains aside. The sun had set about two hours ago and a full moon was already up in the night sky.

He would do it. He would resurrect L, regardless of any consequences that may come along with it. Even if L decided to have him arrested, he still at least wanted to see him one last time before he either went to prison for life or was executed.

* * *

**I wanted to end this one on more of a cliffhanger, but I figured a preview of what the next chapter would be about would work better. I'll try to get it up faster than this one, but we'll have to see what happens. See you all soon!**


	3. Chance

**Well, slightly later than I would've liked to update, but it's a new chapter, nonetheless! Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 3 - Chance**

It was now about 9:45 p.m., a little over three hours since Soichiro Yagami had called his son. He thought his son was still in his room, perhaps reading, watching television, sleeping, or doing some other activity. But had he known what he was _actually _doing, he probably would have tried to stop him before he was able to accomplish his task.

Not that his son would have even told him in the first place, though.

Light slowly peered around the corner to make sure the hallway was clear, his body flush up against the wall. Waiting a few more moments and not seeing or hearing anyone coming down the hallway, he stepped out from his cover and quickly walked forward, nearing his destination. Though the chances of him running into his father or anyone else on the task force were slim, at this hour and place, it was still a definite possibility, hence his overly-cautiousness. The last thing he wanted was for someone to see him and realize that he wasn't in his room, which was where he said he was going to be.

He would have loved to pick another day or time to do this, but if he wanted to bring back L, this would be his only chance to do it.

L was supposed to be buried tomorrow, meaning that there would be absolutely no opportunity to retrieve his body after tonight. There would be no telling as to who would be around the casket, for how long, and where if he tried to do it tomorrow in the daytime. The evening wasn't even an option, as he would already be buried at that point.

If Light wanted this to happen, if he _truly _wished to have L back, then he had to do it tonight. His heart beat faster with every step he took, getting closer and closer to his objective.

He'd never snuck out or disobeyed his parents before in such a manner, but even he had to admit that this was quite the rush, doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing. Of course, compared to the hundreds of people he'd killed with the Death Note, this minor infraction didn't even fall into the same spectrum, but at least this was _exciting_ for him. He just killed people with the Death Note because it was beneficial for the order of the new world, but this, no matter how juvenile or immature it may have appeared to others, was definitely interesting.

Rounding the corner, he continued on with his secret mission. He was almost there, at this point. Just a few more doors down and he would finally reach the room he wanted, no, _needed _to be at.

Within that room was the one thing left missing from his life, from the perfect future he hoped he would be able to have. If not, he wished to see him breathe once more before he would be taken away from him for most of the rest of his life, if not all of it.

He smiled to himself just thinking about it.

Strangely enough, simply seeing him alive again would be enough for him, though, of course, he desired much more than that. He just hoped beyond hope that L would listen to him and give in to his feelings for the younger boy. It was a hell of a gamble, but Light really had nothing else to lose if it didn't work and yet, so much to gain if it did.

Light halted when he got to the door he was looking for. Glancing at the room number, he nodded to himself and withdrew the key he had been given to him from L by Watari. Room 412 had been designated as the emergency room for the task force, should anything go wrong and it became necessary to evacuate their base of operations above. Each member had been given a key to get into the room if need be, Light included.

However, there was a catch.

There was a device built into the door that automatically sensed not only the key that was being pushed into the lock, but also the way it was being turned, how hard, and by whom. If any of the previously mentioned factors were off by more than the device deemed as flawed, such as a wrong key being inserted or the wrong person turning it, the device would send a signal to several small incendiary bombs located throughout various points in the room and set them off instantaneously, all within a millisecond. The door also had several motion sensors and pressure detectors built into it to tell if someone or something was attempting to get through the door without properly unlocking it, such as picking the lock, breaking it down, or trying to go under it.

Attempting any of these actions would detonate the bombs, as well.

In addition, it was impossible to get into the room by any methods other than going in through the front door. Every part of the room, including the floor and ceiling, was lined with the same technology that many banks and high-end stores used to protect their commodities from theft or disruption of any sort. Any attempts to tunnel in, break in, or come in through the windows would immediately detonate the explosives.

Needless to say, the room was basically an impenetrable fortress.

Taking a deep breath and steadying his slightly shaking hand, Light slowly pushed the key into the keyhole, pressing down on it ever so slightly to begin the unlocking process. He turned it a quarter of the way to the right three times, a quarter of the way to the left two times, and then halfway to the right once, keeping steady downward pressure on it the whole time. He heard several clicks as the complex locking system disengaged itself before finally stopping and, with one last click, unlocked completely.

Light pulled the key back out and replaced it in his pocket. Checking both ends of the hallway to make sure no one saw him going in, he pushed the door open and softly closed it behind him.

Being that it was nighttime and no lights were on in the room, aside from a slit of moonlight streaming through the window covered by a curtain, it was basically pitch black in 412. Light felt along the wall for the light switch, and after several moments of no contact except for the decorated wallpaper, he felt it and flipped it on. The main overhead lights came on, illuminating the living space of the rather large suite.

Light's eyes adjusted and focused on the first thing that immediately caught his attention when his pupils contracted back to normal: L's casket. It was in the middle of the living area, where the sofas and loveseats would generally be in front of the television. Said items were either moved to the side or had been pushed to another part of the suite to accommodate the casket.

On weak legs, Light tentatively took his first step towards the casket that contained the one person he had once hated the most in the world and had vowed to kill, no matter what it took. And to think that they used to be mortal enemies! Funny how love changed things.

Though L's body was less twenty feet away, Light felt that it took him years to reach it on the other side of the room.

He almost tripped over his own feet, with how slowly and sluggishly he was walking. His eyes never left L's casket and he only blinked once or twice from the time it took him to get from the door to the living area. It was almost as if he and the casket were the only things in this room right now.

And then, before he knew it, there it lay before him, only inches away from his touch. He placed the palm of his hand on the lid and slid it along the silver finish a few times, feeling how smooth yet cold it was.

_Reminds me of his skin, actually, _Light thought. He shivered just thinking about the mental comparison, even though he'd never really touched L's skin before.

Sure, he'd punched him a few times when they fought or grabbed the sleeve of his shirt if he needed to get his attention, but he could never recollect actually putting his hand on his skin and keeping it there. L almost certainly wouldn't have allowed it. Not while conscious, anyway.

Swallowing hard, Light slowly opened the casket with shaking hands.

His heart rate picked up with every inch that he raised the lid, like a little boy unwrapping a Christmas present. As he lowered the lid to the side, he closed his eyes, avoiding looking at L's body. He took a moment or two to collect himself, trying not to let his thoughts or emotions get the best of him. When he thought he was ready a few moments later, he took a steadying breath and slowly opened his eyes.

There before him lay L. Not the closed casket. Not white sheets or any sort of covers.

Just L.

Bringing a shaking hand to his eye level, Light took a small liberty of reaching forward and caressing every inch of L's beautiful face, taking in each and every one of his magnificent features.

His porcelain-toned skin due to spending almost all of his time indoors.

His pointed, slightly upturned nose.

His thin black eyebrows just barely visible under his dark bangs.

His mass of messy black hair atop his head.

His high cheekbones that were rarely ever used to smile.

His now-closed large black eyes and the dark circles underneath them from a lack of sleep.

His small, pale pink lips.

Light paused at this last feature and noticed that even in death, they were slightly parted. He urged to kiss them, wanting to taste the other man for so long now. He may have been dead, but he had been so for only a little over twenty-four hours. Unable to resist the temptation of knowing what L's lips would feel like against his own, Light leaned forward and closed his eyes to press his lips against those of the older man.

When his lips touched L's, he was overwhelmed by the incredible sensation of cool softness against them.

He pulled back after only a moment, amazed at how he tasted. He didn't taste like decaying death as he imagined he might after being dead for a day. No, it was far better than anything he ever could have imagined. It was... indescribable.

Never before in his life had he ever felt something that incredibly mind-blowing. He couldn't even begin to fathom what L's lips would taste like if he were alive! Light couldn't help but grin at that thought.

Caressing L's face for a moment or two, Light leaned in once more to plant a kiss on L's head, much like _he_ had done when Light was asleep all those nights before. Moving up to L's ear hidden by the mass of black hair, even though he couldn't hear him, Light whispered to the deceased detective.

"Don't worry, L. I'm gonna bring you back. I never should have had Rem kill you. I just want to see you breathing again. It won't be long, I promise."

Drawing back, Light brushed the palm of his hand over L's face once more before heading off to the bathroom.

Flipping on the light inside, he quickly located the cabinets and began rummaging through them. He went through several of them before finally finding what he was looking for. Taking the large white bath towels in one arm and turning off the bathroom light with his free hand, he returned to the living area and set the towels down on the couch by L's casket.

He wasn't surprised to find the cabinets already stocked with bath towels, as this was a suite and, as such, came equipped with them. Of course, being the Kira task force's emergency room, the suite also contained food, beverages, medical supplies, maps and charts, extra clothing, hygienic items, communications equipment, computers, various weapons and ammunition, tactical gear, and several other provisions the room's occupants may have needed for a long period of time. He knew where everything was and how to access it if need be, but didn't bother with any of it for obvious reasons.

Stepping up to the casket, Light put an arm under the back of L's neck and another under the backs of his thighs. Carefully maneuvering both his body and L's own, he was able to move the body out of the casket without damaging it. While carrying him over to the other couch, Light slightly underestimated L's weight and almost dropped him before he was able to set him down a little rougher than he originally wanted to.

Stretching his arms a bit, Light glanced down at the man with a raised eyebrow, slightly bewildered. He may have looked incredibly thin, but Light estimated that L's weight was either very close to or exactly the same as his own.

Going back to the couch upon which he'd dropped the towels, he retrieved them and took them with him to the couch with L's body on it. Putting them over his shoulders, he bent down to cross L's arms over his chest as if he were an ancient pharaoh going to be mummified.

Softly chuckling to himself at this thought, Light took the large towels off his shoulders, and one by one, wrapped L's body in them. He was sure to cover him up from head to toe, concealing every inch of him in the white towels. When he was fully covered, Light piled the few remaining towels on top of the ones already wrapped around the man, spreading them out to make it appear as if he were carrying several dirty towels in his arms instead of a dead body.

Inspecting his handiwork for a few moments, Light was satisfied to find that no part of L was visible from under the bath towels. Gently picking up L much as he had done about a minute before, Light walked to the door at a comfortable pace, carefully balancing the precious load in his arms. He let go of L's head for a few seconds to pull the door open and shut the light off.

Taking one last look at the now-darkened room, he turned around and walked down the hall as he heard the door lightly close behind him.

It didn't take him long to reach an elevator, which was his best bet of getting up to his floor faster. Though it was unlikely that he would run into any of the task force members taking the stairs, this process would be much slower and he would probably have to stop several times to rest because of the heavy weight in his arms. The elevator was much riskier in terms of coming into contact with someone on his way up, but it would get him back up to his room much faster than the stairs.

He truly was laying everything down on the line tonight.

Using his elbow to call the elevator, Light anxiously waited for it to come down to the floor he was on. He tapped his foot a bit impatiently as his head constantly went from left to right, nervously scanning the hallway for anyone else coming. The elevator dinged as it reached the floor and opened its doors.

Light stepped in and hit the button for the floor that his room was on. Even though he knew it wouldn't speed up the process, Light repeatedly tapped the button to close the elevator doors in anxiety. The doors eventually shut and the elevator was on its way up to Light's floor.

Less than a minute later, he stepped out of the elevator and walked to his room. Fishing the electronic key out of his pocket, he unlocked the door and closed it behind him as he carried L into the room.

When he reached his bed, he bent over and gently lay L down. He carefully removed the many bath towels from the detective's body and dropped them on the floor beside the bed. Light smoothed some loose bangs away from L's closed eyes, so excited to see them open again that he almost couldn't contain himself.

He stepped back and pulled his shirt up to remove Rem's Death Note from the waistline of his pants. He hadn't taken a shower since yesterday, as he was too deep in thought about this whole situation, and hadn't even bothered to take the notebook out of his pants. Flipping open to the page that Rem had used yesterday, he quickly found L's name, running his thumb over it as if it were a physical part of him.

_L Lawliet_.

He honestly never would have guessed that his first name actually was "L," instead always believing that it stood for something longer or that it was just his title as the world's greatest detective. And his last name, "Lawliet." It was strange and exotic, much like the man himself, but also alluring and beautiful at the same time.

Also like him.

Maybe when he was awake in a few minutes, Light would even ask how he got the name in the first place. He had so many questions he'd wanted to ask him for a long time now and would finally be able to do so! Well, only if L didn't turn him in to the authorities. But he couldn't worry about that now.

He'd come way too far tonight to reconsider his thoughts on bringing back L. Not thinking about it any longer, he forced the inner debate out of his mind and walked toward the nightstand to grab the Death Eraser. Picking it up between his thumb and forefinger like he had done earlier when Ryuk first gave it to him, he walked back to the foot of the bed, not taking his eyes off of it once.

_This is it, _he thought. _All I have to do is erase L's name from Rem's Death Note and he'll come back to life forty seconds later. It's so simple in theory, but because of my situation... it's definitely an unusual reason to use it. Unusual or not, though, I'm still going to do it. I've gone too far to back out now just because of a little preconceived fear._

Even as the teen mentally assured himself of this, though, he started to feel like L when the percentages of certain possibilities and outcomes began to whirl through his mind at rapid speeds. Was this was it was like to think like the great detective himself? Always cold and calculating like a supercomputer?

Unlike L, he'd always dealt with problems and certain situations the way most other people did: common sense. While the detective used percentages and heavy analysis to make decisions, a simple "yes" or "no" would usually suffice for Light, and if not, he would sometimes go a little deeper and come up with a slightly more "defined" answer.

Then again, L was the most antisocial person he'd ever met. It was only natural that due to his lack of communication with others on a daily basis, he would come up with his own unique way of thinking about things. Light didn't really mind it, though.

On the contrary, if anything, it only made him more interested in L. The man was basically an enigma nearly impossible to crack and could only be unlocked by a very specific code. There were very few people he'd ever had in his life who had ever truly understood him, and although Light was able to relate to him easily enough in his own way, the teenager wanted more.

Yes, he was happy to finally be able to talk to and understand someone who was on-par with his own level of intellect, but it wasn't quite enough.

He wanted to be able to talk to L about his past, about things that interested them both, about things other than the Kira case and the various other ones the man was always working on.

He wanted to be able to hold and comfort him when he wanted or needed it.

He wanted to be able to live with and take care of him as if he'd known him his whole life.

He wanted to love him in a way that no one else ever had and make him realize that someone else really, _truly wanted_ him.

He wasn't one hundred percent sure that he would be able to have all of this and maybe even more by erasing L's name from the notebook he now held in his hands, but there was a _chance_ and that was honestly good enough for him. After all, if he'd known that there was absolutely no way this would work out in the end, he wouldn't have even _considered _going through all this trouble to make it happen in the first place. With great rewards came great risks, and L was damn well worth the risk if it meant a possible future with him.

Holding the open spine of the notebook in the palm of his left hand and the eraser in the fingers of his right, Light drew in a deep breath and slowly released it before putting the tip of the eraser on the top of the "L" in the man's first name, or rather, his _whole _first name. Moving the eraser up and down against the single letter, Light moved his hand to the side so he could see the effects of the Death Eraser for himself.

He gasped when he realized that the letter was no longer there. In fact, there was _nothing _there! Usually, when he erased something on paper, there was almost always a faint mark of whatever it was that used to be there, but the Death Eraser had _completely _erased it as if it had never even been written down in the first place.

His surprise wearing off after a few moments, Light slowly erased the seven letters of L's last name, carefully making sure that each and every one was gone from the page. With every letter he erased, he felt himself drawing closer and closer towards his ultimate goal. By the time he got to the last letter, the "t" at the end, he couldn't hold back a triumphant smile that broke free when he realized that erasing this last letter would start the countdown that would eventually bring L back from the dead when it hit zero.

Pressing the eraser firmly against the solitary letter left on the page, Light expunged it with a few quick wrist movements. Pulling it away from the page, he pocketed the eraser and rolled up his sleeve to glance at his watch and begin the countdown. His eyes flicked up to look at L, gazing at his peaceful-looking form sprawled out on the bed.

His lips were still parted in a tempting, very _kissable_ way. He would only have to wait a little over thirty more seconds to try something like that when he was alive once more.

Light quickly strode over to the nightstand, placing the notebook and eraser on top. Walking back to the foot of the bed, Light checked his watch again and saw that there were less than twenty seconds left.

He straightened his posture and tried to fix his hair the best he could, attempting to look somewhat in order when L awoke. He didn't even know _why _he did it, just quickly blaming it on an old force of habit. He also smoothed out some of the wrinkles in his dress shirt, roughly running his hands down his torso to get rid of them.

Anxiously glancing down at his watch when he was done "preparing" himself, he was shocked to see that less than ten seconds remained. This was it! This was the result of every necessary piece falling into place and no unwanted variables stopping him from reaching his goal. His plan had gone off without a hitch and now he would be able to see the results of it happen right here, right in front of his very own eyes.

He continued the countdown in his head, starting at three.

_Three..._

_Two..._

_One..._

_ZERO!_

The instant Light got to "zero" in his mental countdown, L immediately sat up, desperately gasping for breath as if he'd been underwater for too long. His large, dark eyes were wide open and Light noticed the pupils contract as they adjusted to the brightness of the room. His breathing was quick and slightly strained as he put a hand over his heaving chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat.

_My... heartbeat? _he thought, looking down at his hand while still struggling to control his breathing. _No, that's impossible. I'm supposed to be dead!_

He held both hands up to his face, turning them over and moving his fingers as if to test his theory. He looked down at his bare feet, wiggling his toes as well. He reached up to his face, making sure it was still there and hadn't changed during the time he'd been dead. However long that was...

He couldn't believe this.

It was like when he'd first heard the mentioning of Shinigami involvement earlier on in the Kira case. It was just something he couldn't fully accept as true. But like he had eventually accepted the existence of Shinigami after seeing the proof with his own eyes, he supposed he had to accept the fact that he was, once again, _alive_. The evidence was undeniable.

He suddenly noticed something out of the corner of his eye and quickly looked up to see what it was that had gotten his attention. L gasped when he saw someone standing right in front of him. His eyes slowly traveled up from the person's knees, which was the furthest down he could see because of the bed, until he reached the person's face.

He sharply drew in a breath when he recognized the face of the man, no, the _boy _who had killed him. _Light Yagami, _he thought. L was absolutely frozen, unable to even move an inch after seeing his murderer standing over him.

Light took notice of this, not really sure what to do. His brown eyes were locked directly with L's large black ones. He tried to imagine what L would do next, what he was thinking right now. _If I was L and in his position right now, I would probably... no. Oh, no. I can't let him!_

Light was almost completely sure of what L was going to do, and if he let him do it, then everything he'd done today would have been for naught. He had to quickly think of something before L screamed out. He had to somehow stop him.

L's mouth was still open in a disbelieving gasp, though his breathing was a bit more under control now. There was one word that came to his mind at that moment, the one single word he had tried to get out when he died.

_Kira_.

The owner of that word, or name, rather, was less than five feet away from him. All he had to do was scream it out and someone would hear him. Someone would rush in here and come to his aid.

He was prepared to do it.

Light noticed L take a quick, deep breath and his eyes go wide. Instantly, without even thinking, he flew across the bed and landed right on top of L, crushing their lips together in a kiss. L was only able to get the first letter of the name out before Light's lips were on his and the rest of his cry died into the kiss.

He whimpered and kissed Light back, closing his eyes as a small, nearly invisible tear fell from one of them. Light happened to notice this and moved a hand up to L's cheek, using his thumb to softly brush it away as it fell.

He couldn't believe how good this felt, how _right _it seemed to finally be able to kiss L. The first one from earlier didn't really count in his opinion because L was dead and hadn't been able to respond. But now that he was alive and kissing Light back, it was... well, he honestly couldn't have found a word for it if he tried. All he knew was that L's soft, warm lips were pressed against his own and he didn't want them to leave.

He tasted sweet, but not overly so. It was probably a combination of his natural taste and the large amount of sugar he consumed on daily basis. Light continued the kiss, continually assaulting L's lips with his own until he began to run out of breath.

Reluctantly, Light pulled back from L's lips and slowly opened his eyes so they could both catch their breath from the kiss. Not just _a _kiss, but their _first _kiss. L slowly opened his eyes as well, tears still brimming in them but refusing to fall.

Keeping his hand cupped on L's cheek, Light brought his other hand up to L's face and put a finger over his lips. He leaned in close as if he were going to kiss him again, but instead whispered softly.

"If I let you go, will you promise not to scream?" he asked.

L's eyes widened for a second before he realized what Light was saying. So he _had _known what he was planning to do. L slowly nodded in acknowledgement, letting Light know that he wouldn't try anything.

Light nodded back, removing both hands from L's face and drawing back from him, though he was still technically straddling L's knees.

L turned his head away from Light, tears beginning to slowly fall from them. Light couldn't believe how much he hated seeing him like this. He wanted to make it all better, to make him understand. He was about to lean in to wipe them away again when L's voice, just barely audible, broke the silence.

"Why, Light?" he whispered through his tears, still looking to the side.

Light was perplexed. His heart started thumping loudly in his chest, or loud to him, at least. What did he mean by that?

'Why did you kill me?'

'Why did you betray my trust?'

'Why did you hide the truth from me for so long?'

What was he trying to say?

Before he could ask, L turned his head back up towards Light so he was now looking directly into his eyes. Light felt as if L were staring directly into his soul with those huge, dark eyes now wet with tears.

"Why did you do it?"

* * *

**Yes, sort of a cliffhanger ending for this chapter, but I always find them more exciting than regular ones. Plus, it's more fun to imagine the people reading this giving me the middle finger and yelling obscenities in my general direction because of how I'm making them wait to see what happens next. And with the kind of schedule that I update my stories, who knows how long that will take? Ha ha ha!**

**Really, though, I appreciate everyone being patient with me thus far and enjoying my work. If it weren't for you guys, I probably wouldn't be writing this in the first place. I'll try to update the next chappie faster than usual, but I won't make any promises I can't keep. Anyway, see you all soon!**


	4. Obligation

**I apologize for the month-long update gap. Procrastination, writer's block, and starting up another short Death Note fic - **_**For Whom the Bell Tolls**_**, which is also a Light/L romantic story - have all prevented me from updating until now. Though if you're familiar with the way I update and write, you're probably just thinking, "Oh, God. He's at it again." Heh heh heh...**

**A/N: This is the re-uploaded version of this chapter. I would like to personally thank walking-in-dark for their **_**very**_** useful review and the criticisms they brought to my attention that I never even would have considered had it not been for their insight. I apologize if you read the original version of this chapter, previously titled "Verdict," and were surprised to see it deleted a little over twelve hours after the fact without any prior warning or notice. I'll try **_**very **_**hard not to let something like this happen again.**

* * *

**Chapter 4 - Obligation**

Light wasn't sure how to answer L's question. He didn't even know exactly what L was asking in the first place, as the inquiry was fairly vague and almost seemed open-ended.

"What do you mean, L?" he decided to ask.

L slowly sat up, still keeping his eyes on Light.

"Why did you become Kira?" he asked, tears still flowing freely from his eyes.

Light was taken aback by the inquiry. It had completely caught him off guard, and quite honestly, he hadn't expected L to ask him something like that. He glanced back at L and opened his mouth to respond, but wasn't able to form the words and closed it as he looked away.

He couldn't meet his eyes. After a few moments, he finally responded in a whisper.

"You wouldn't understand," he shook his head. "You just... you wouldn't believe me if I told you."

L wouldn't be deterred, though. He was as stubborn as Light, if not more so, and being the world's greatest detective, he wouldn't stop until he had all the answers to solve the problem. He reached his hand up to Light's cheek and softly called his name.

"Light, please look at me," he pleaded.

Light looked back up at him, seeing a pleading, determined look in his eyes that he'd never even known the man was capable of possessing. L stroked his cheek, running his thumb in small circles. His eyes still shone with tears, but he ignored their presence and pressed on.

"I need you to tell me, Light. No matter how it happened or your reasons for doing so, I need to know. I have to know how this all started."

Light sighed heavily, glancing off to the side for a moment as he thought of everything he'd done as Kira. This was honestly the last thing he wanted to discuss with L right now, who had been alive for less than three minutes so far and was already questioning him on the Kira case. But what choice did he have?

"All right, fine," he grudgingly agreed, returning his gaze to L's eyes. "I'll tell you everything from the beginning, L."

* * *

About forty-five minutes later, Light was sitting on the edge of the bed, just having finished up his story.

L was in his usual position on the opposite end; knees brought up to his chest, an arm wrapped around them, and a thumb at his lips. He'd carefully listened to each and every word that came out of Light's mouth, analyzing and scrutinizing every little detail of the tale. Even after Light was finished, his deductive mind was, as usual, running off in several different directions at once.

He thought about the things Light did and how he maybe could have approached them in alternative ways to achieve different results.

He imagined putting himself in Light's position, considering how things may have gone differently had _he _been in the possession of the Death Note and if _Light_ were the one tracking him down. He thought about all the different variables and how they affected everything that happened, including the outcomes and the steps to get to each one. There really wasn't anything that he _didn't _think about, no detail left out or question in his mind left unanswered.

Then again, that was why he was _L_.

Light stared at him, waiting for his acknowledgement after the rather large story he'd just told him. He could tell that L was in deep thought and didn't want to disturb him. He patiently waited until L glanced back at him several minutes later, dark eyes boring into his own. They were still slightly puffy and red from crying earlier, but the tears were long gone.

"And that was everything that happened between now and November 23 of last year?" he asked.

Light nodded.

"Yes. I didn't leave anything out related to the case or my actions as Kira. I know I may have lied to you in the past, L, but please believe me when I say that everything in that story was the absolute truth."

"I believe you, Light," L nodded back. "After all, you have no reason to lie to me now that we're in this situation. Besides, I could see it in your eyes."

Light raised his eyebrows incredulously. "My eyes?"

"Yes. Over the years, I've learned that you can determine whether or not someone is being honest by searching their eyes. In some cases, it works even better than a polygraph or other kinds of truth tests."

For some strange reason, Light was inclined to believe him.

He'd heard the old saying "The eyes are the window to the soul" before, but he'd never really believed it. That is, not until L said it. Somehow, hearing it from his mouth really made him believe that such a thing was possible.

Light shrugged.

"I guess you're right. You of all would people would probably know best about that," he chuckled.

L continued staring back at him, his face blank and emotionless as usual. Light quickly sobered, realizing L wasn't joining him like he hoped he might have.

"Well, Light, there's one more thing we need to discuss before we can go any further," he broke the somewhat awkward silence between them with his monotone voice.

Light gulped. He had a feeling of what was coming next. This was the moment he'd both awaited and dreaded since yesterday, the moment that would change his life forever.

"What would that be, L?" Light asked anyway.

He didn't expect to get anywhere by playing the fool, but perhaps L had a different topic choice entirely for their conversation.

"I'm sure you're well aware of what the topic is, Light," L saw through his ruse almost immediately.

_Damn, _thought Light.

Well, he wasn't really surprised; this was the world's greatest detectivehe was talking to, after all. It had been worth a try, anyway.

"However," L continued, "I'd rather not delay this any further than we already have and just get right to the point. After a year of joint investigations conducted by various law enforcement agencies from around the globe, including the Japanese task force led by myself, I have come to a final conclusion; Light Yagami, _you_ _are_ the mass murderer known worldwide as 'Kira,'" he pointed a long, slender finger in Light's direction as if to reinforce his point.

Light swallowed hard at the last part, but otherwise remained silent the rest of the time. He wasn't going to deny anything that L was saying. The physical evidence against him alone would have been enough to convict him, so any argument on his part would be merely futile.

He listened as L continued, not leaving his eyes once.

"Though you have several minor charges against you, the two felonies you would most likely be charged with in a court setting are that of mass murder and multiple counts of first degree murder. The exact counts are undetermined at this time, but as of right now, they are estimated to be somewhere in the mid-hundreds, if not upper hundreds. The sentence for these crimes is, at minimum, life in a super-maximum security prison without the possibility of parole. However, it is more than likely that you will receive the death penalty. Before I inform you of my decision considering whether or not to turn you in, do you, Light Yagami, have any words that you would like to say?"

The detective remained silent, allowing his prime suspect the chance to speak if he wished.

Light looked deeply into L's eyes, seeing nothing but determination and a strict adherence to the justice system within them. Perhaps L was right about seeing the truth in people's eyes. But that was for another time.

"Look, L, some people might beg for their lives with whomever's about to punish them for their sins or try to bargain with them, but I'm not going to do any of that," he shook his head. "This is your decision alone. Even if I tried to convince you either way, I know you won't listen; once you have your mind set on something, you stick with it until the very end. It's your decision, L."

Even L couldn't deny his admiration for the boy's calmness and courage at a time like this. It was very rare that he ever personally met a criminal he was about to send away to some godforsaken prison or to their execution via court verdict, but in the few instances that he had, it was always the same; they cried, begged, screamed, tried to attack him, pleaded or bargained for their lives, threatened him, and a variety of other unpleasant things. But Light Yagami, a brilliant eighteen-year-old Japanese boy accused of killing hundreds of people, hadn't even tried to deny the charges against him and seemed almost willing to accept whatever punishment was delivered.

"Light Yagami," he spoke in an authoritative voice, "I already know that you are guilty of all the aforementioned crimes. Under the circumstances, I am more than obligated to turn you into the authorities..."

He seemed to trail off, but Light hardly noticed.

His head was bowed, unable to meet L's gaze. As soon as L gave the word, he would be taken into custody and tried for mass murder. He sighed somewhat sadly to himself, imagining that this was how it would have gone. But the smallest hint of a smile appeared on his face, noticeable only to him; at least he was able to see L one last time before he would be taken away from him forever.

"However," L continued with a small, uncommon smile on his face, "these circumstances are _far_ from ordinary. Therefore, I will _not_ relinquish you to the authorities."

Light gasped as his eyes widened and his head immediately shot up to give L a stunned, disbelieving look. His heart was hammering in his chest. L continued staring at him, the smile still there.

_What... what the hell just happened?! _he thought in disbelief. _He can't be serious... right?_

"W-What?" was all he could get out.

L chuckled. "I will not be turning you into the police," he repeated in a simplified version.

"L, why-"

"Hold on, Light," L cut him off with a raised finger. "I'm not quite finished yet. Though I will not be handing you over to the police or any other part of the justice system, there are three stipulations to my decision. One, you will make up for your crimes under my personal supervision in whichever way I see fit. Two, you will make sure that neither yourself nor anyone else will ever use the power of the Death Notes ever again by destroying them. And three, you will remain in my custody until I feel that you have sufficiently redeemed yourself."

Light gulped.

This... this was all just too much for him to take in at once. Even his brilliant mind found itself overloaded with L's words, almost threatening to implode at any given moment. If there was one thing he did get out of all that, though, he knew with absolute certainty that L wasn't going to turn into the police.

He didn't know how to possibly thank him. He wasn't even sure that he _could_. Well, maybe... maybe there was _one _way he could at least show his appreciation for what the man had done for him.

Light was hardly aware of what he was doing when he abruptly pounced L from the other side of the bed and pressed his body against the mattress.

L barely had time to react to the sudden shock of this happening to him before Light's lips crashed against his own. Instead of fighting it, though, he closed his eyes and relaxed into it. He had an idea that this was Light's way of thanking him and wasn't about to interrupt it.

He looked up at Light's closed eyes when he heard him quietly sobbing. He pulled away and caressed his cheek as he'd done less than an hour ago.

"Light, what's wrong?" he gently inquired.

Light slowly opened his eyes, tears spilling from them and onto L's white cotton T-shirt.

"I just... I don't know how to thank you, L. I can't believe you're doing this for me, especially after everything I've done as Kira and what I did to _you_. I can't tell you how sorry I am, I just-"

L gently shushed him and placed a finger upon his lips, drawing him in close to embrace him. Light continued crying as he buried the side of his face under L's chin, gripping the older man's shirt and holding on as if his life depended on it. Though he wasn't great with emotions and considering the fact that this was his first actual relationship, L still did his best to soothe the teen by massaging his hair, rubbing circles into his back, and whispering comforting things into his ear.

He wasn't completely sure of exactly what he was doing, but he assumed that it must have worked when Light began to calm down.

When the tears had subsided and his body was no longer shaking from his emotional release, Light lifted his head from L's - now tear-stained - chest and brought a hand up to his cheek. He gave him a small kiss before pulling back to look into his depth-less black eyes.

"So, uh... you mentioned something earlier about redeeming myself?"

"Yes," L nodded, "but we shall discuss that tomorrow. Right now, I think it would be best if we went to bed. For some reason, I find myself much more tired than I have been in a long time."

Light had a feeling that L's fatigue was mainly contributed to him being dead for a day, but just the thought of that flooded him with guilt. Guilt that it was _he _who had killed L. He didn't notice that he was averting his gaze and staring at the bed until he heard L softly calling his name and turning his head towards him.

"I know what you're thinking, Light. All I can say is that if you were still truly Kira, you wouldn't have even thought about reviving me in the first place. He may still be a part of you, but I know that in due time, he will eventually fade away and there will only be you: Light Yagami."

Light sighed. "I hope so, L. I really do."

L pulled him down for a kiss, to which Light eagerly returned. He kissed him fiercely, pouring every ounce of love and compassion for the detective in his arms. He never wanted to hurt him ever again and he knew it would be a long while before he would be able to get over his guilt of what he'd done to him and the hundreds of other people he'd killed as Kira, but with L's help, he was positive that he would be fully healed sometime in the future.

They drew apart when air was needed and Light caressed L's cheek for a moment more before getting up from the bed. L sat up and pulled back the covers while Light switched off the lights. He came back and turned off the lamp on the nightstand before getting under the covers with L and pulling them up over them. Neither of them had the motivation to undress before going to sleep, so they just left whatever clothing they were already wearing as it was.

Light gave L a sweet kiss before gathering him in his arms and burying his head in the crook of his neck. In turn, L wrapped his arms around Light's waist and rested his head against the teen's chest, which felt strong and warm against his cheek. They softly caressed and held each other until they were both asleep minutes later.

* * *

**For some reason, this chapter was a challenge for me at times and it took a **_**lot **_**of self-motivation to go back and finish it (I had it about halfway done for a couple weeks now, but didn't have the desire to continue it until now). I will try **_**very **_**hard to make sure that the next chapter is up by the end of this month, as I would like to at least get that much done before school starts up again. Damn it all. I'm gonna miss summer...**


	5. Comfort

**I had one of those nights where you just lie in bed unable to fall asleep because your brain wants to contemplate the universe, resulting in me not getting any sleep whatsoever. I decided I might as well do something productive with my time, which is how this chapter was uploaded. Ugh...**

**A/N: Oh, something I probably should have mentioned in the last chapter; I finished up **_**For Whom the Bell Tolls **_**about a week ago. This means that I'll have more time to focus on just this story instead of two at once. Yea!**

**Warning: Lime in this chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 5 - Comfort**

L was falling. Light watched in horror as the detective lost his balance from the chair he was perched upon in his usual manner of sitting and fell to the ground. Before he could hit the tiled floor, though, Light leapt from where he was standing a few feet away and caught L, landing hard on his side.

Ignoring the pain from the fall, Light desperately tried to coax L from the trance he seemed to be in. He screamed, shook him, kissed him on the lips, tried _anything _to get him out of the state he was currently in. He could feel L holding onto his shoulder, gripping it harder with every passing second.

Tears began brimming in Light's eyes when he felt L's heart rate come to a halt. "_L, no_!" he screamed as his dark eyes began to close. "_Oh God, no_!_ L, please don't leave me_!_ Oh, God_..."

His eyelids were now fully shut as he fell limp in Light's arms, the hand that had been clutching his shoulder now loosening its grip. Light buried his head in L's cotton shirt and sobbed, begging for L to come back to him and to be given a second chance. But no such thing happened.

He stroked L's hair and kissed his dead lips, whispering his name over and over again through his tears. "L..."

* * *

"L!" Light exclaimed as he shot up in bed, panting and trying to catch his breath.

He looked down at his shaking hands, slowly bringing them up to his face and hair. As he imagined, he was sweating from the psychological impact of the nightmare.

He quickly glanced to his side to make sure that L was still there beside him. He leaned over and tightly wrapped his arms around him, relieved to feel the steady pulse of his heartbeat and the warmth of his body. He planted a kiss on the nape of L's neck, burying his nose in his nest of black hair and inhaling deeply as he closed his eyes and tried to fall back asleep.

He was shocked to hear L's voice gently calling his name. Light lifted his head off of him as the detective rolled over to look into his eyes.

"Light? What's wrong?"

Light swallowed hard, looking away as he sat up. "I had... a nightmare," he admitted. "I haven't had one since I was in grade school. And this one, it seemed so real..."

L sat up next to him, suddenly worried about Light. "What was it about?" he asked in concern.

Light's eyes slowly met his and L almost gasped when he saw them seemingly shaking in fear.

"It was about you," he managed. "It was two days ago, the day I... I killed you. It was just the two of us in the room, no one else. I caught you as you fell from your chair and tried to get you to... wake up, I guess. But no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, you died right there in my arms..."

Light couldn't contain his emotions anymore, allowing the unshed tears that had steadily built up behind his eyes to stream from them and down his cheeks.

"Light..." L touched his shoulder.

Light abruptly spun around so he was fully facing him and quickly drew him into an embrace. L was taken off guard by the move, surprised to feel his body being pressed tightly against Light's so suddenly as the teen sobbed above his head. He raised himself onto his knees so he was a bit more comfortable in Light's arms and tried to soothe him with calming words as he ran a hand through his hair and embraced him with another.

Light buried his face in L's shoulder, his body wracking with uncontrollable sobs. That nightmare had seemed so realistic that it had actually scared him. He was terrified from it and was even more terrified at the possibility of having it again the next time he fell asleep. At this moment, L was the most important thing in his life and the last thing he wanted was for him to be taken away from him all over again.

When the tears subsided and his emotions were under control again, Light removed his head from L's shoulder and reached out to caress his cheek. L shivered at the touch and leaned into it. Light leaned forward to capture the detective's lips in a kiss, pushing his tongue into the other's mouth and tilting his head. L moaned and returned it with as much fervor as Light was giving him.

He was aware that Light was doing this to not only show how much he truly loved him, but because he needed reassurance that his lover was still here for him. He was willing to do anything to comfort the boy, and he didn't mind in the least bit that it didn't require air to do so at the moment.

Light drew back from L, panting heavily from the powerful kiss. The detective was doing the same, holding onto Light's shoulders for support so he didn't fall over from a lack of oxygen to his brain. Light brushed some of L's hair aside, smiling gently at him.

"Sorry if that was a bit rough," he half-heartedly apologized.

L shook his head. "No, it wasn't, Light," his voice taking on a husky, seductive tone. "In fact, it was quite the opposite." He leaned forward to brush his lips against the teen's ear, nibbling it ever so slightly.

Light gasped and shivered, feeling goosebumps rise on his body. He sighed appreciatively as L's tongue flicked out to lick the inside of his ear, tracing the contours and shape of it. His eyes fluttered shut at the feel of the warm, wet organ sweeping over his ear.

"My ear's not a lollipop, you know," he teased breathily.

L smirked at the comment, knowing Light's reactions were betraying his words. "You're right," he stopped his tongue's movements to lean in and whisper to the now-wet ear. "You taste much better, anyway."

Light's eyes shot open and he pulled back immediately to gape at his lover, surprised at how sensual he could really be. He'd always wondered if he actually had a personality hidden underneath that static exterior of his.

As if reading his thoughts, L smiled at him. "What? I'm not allowed to have a personality?" he asked as if hurt by Light's expression.

"No, that isn't it at all," Light chuckled as he rubbed L's hip. "I just never expected you to say anything like that out loud."

"Yes, it seems as if you bring out the things in me that I never allow anyone else to see," he nodded.

"In other words, I bring out the worst in you?" Light teased him, rubbing his hip harder.

L sighed and tried to keep his eyes open under Light's ministrations. "Yes, I suppose so," he managed.

Light laughed and pulled the dark haired man into his lap, running a hand through said hair as he spoke softly to him. "Good to know. I should do it more often, then."

L chuckled, combing his fingers through Light's brown hair in return. "Be careful what you wish for."

"I don't really believe in wishes, to be honest. However, if I had to make one right now, it would most likely be to take a shower," he leaned in close so that his nose brushed against L's, "with you."

He laughed when he saw color paint L's face and practically giggled when he turned his head away in embarrassment. "Hey, we don't _have _to," Light informed him. "I just figured that since we both need one and there's only one bathroom, it would make more sense to get one together."

L slowly looked back at Light, still a little embarrassed but curious about the idea, nonetheless. "No, that doesn't sound like a bad idea," he brought his thumb up to his lips.

"You look so cute when you do that," Light grinned as he stroked his pallid cheek.

"Do what?" L asked, not actually knowing what Light was talking about.

"How you put your thumb up to your lips like that. You always do that when you're either in deep thought or anxious about something. I'm guessing it's the second one, in this case."

"Perhaps," L shrugged, a small, sensual smile gracing his usually expressionless features. "Or perhaps I'm also thinking about us showering together for the first time."

Light laughed as he got up from the bed, pulling L to his feet and taking his hand. "Come on, tease. Let's just get in the damn shower already."

L laughed along with him and allowed Light to lead him to the bathroom.

* * *

They removed their clothing after closing the bathroom door behind them. Normally, Light would either fold his clothes up or place them on the sink counter, but he was so caught up in showering with L that he just threw them in the corner. L did the same, blushing when he looked up and noticed Light eyeing him.

Light had seen L without his shirt and pants before, but never completely naked.

He took in his slim but wide hips, which were as pale as the rest of his body. His mouth almost watered at the sight of his muscular, milky thighs. He found his ass simply adorable on him, the plump, round cheeks that looked as if they were begging for him to squeeze them. And, of course, there were his endowments, to which he was _anything_ but disappointed about.

All in all, there really wasn't anything about his body that he didn't find the least bit attractive.

L felt Light's eyes on him and stared down at the wall, mumbling softly. "I take it from your silence that you're disappointed," he sighed sadly as he brought his thumb up to his lips. "I'm sorry. Maybe I should just... wait here while you shower by yourself."

Light's eyes widened in shock and he frantically tried to explain himself. "N-N-No, L! That isn't it a-at all! I've never seen you completely naked before and... and I was just looking at you."

L glanced in his direction, taking in Light's beautiful, flawless body in comparison to his own. He suddenly felt very self-conscious. "I imagine you don't like what you see..." he trailed off.

"No, L! God, no!" he furiously shook his head. He stepped closer to him, taking his face in his hands and raising his face so he was looking directly into his eyes. "You're absolutely beautiful, L. I was just taking some time to get a good look at you, that's all. I'm _anything _but disappointed. I love you, L. _All _of you."

L was still slightly unsure, though. "Y-You really mean that? You're... you're not just saying that to make me feel better about myself?"

"No, no! Well, I mean, I guess a little bit to give you some confidence, but I'm serious, L; I honestly think you're beautiful. Your mind and your body."

Light's kind eyes reflected his words, making L realize that he really meant what he said. He'd never been told he was beautiful before, nor had he ever asked anyone else for their opinion of his appearance. _He really thinks I'm beautiful..._

L gave him a smile before kissing him softly on the lips. "I'm sorry, Light," he shook his head. "I guess I'm just a little self-conscious."

"Well, don't be," Light insisted. "It's just the two of us, and besides, you have nothing to be ashamed of." His serious features softened and he smiled gently. "Now, come on. Let's get in."

L nodded as Light turned the water on.

He waited a few moments for it to get hot, testing the temperature with his hand. Satisfied that it was warm enough for them, he used his other hand to take hold of L's hand. He gave it a reassuring squeeze as he pulled him into the shower, pulling the curtain closed as they both stepped in.

There was more than enough room for the two of them, which Light considered a nice perk of being in one of the higher end suites here.

He gently turned L around so he was facing the shower head with his back to him. He took the bottle of shampoo and opened it, turning it upside down to pour some of it into his hand. He placed it back on the wall and rubbed his hands together to evenly distribute it in the palms of both of them. Light planted a kiss on the back of L's neck before beginning to scrub his mop of hair.

L sighed in pleasure and closed his eyes as Light's soft hands gently scrubbed his hair. He felt the fingers move through his thick strands, almost moaning out loud when they pressed down deep and massaged his scalp. Light wasn't surprised to find several knots in the detective's hair and fervently worked to untangle them as he shampooed it. L felt Light's careful fingers work out the knots in his messy wet hair, thinking about turning him down but ultimately deciding against it; he would insist upon it and besides, his hands and fingers felt too good to stop.

Light got to a particularly thick knot and gently tugged on it to loosen it up. When it didn't give way, he growled and pulled a little rougher on it than he wanted to, causing L to yelp in pain. He felt a pang of guilt run through his heart and quickly apologized.

"Sorry, sorry!" he kissed his shoulder a few times apologetically. "I didn't mean to do that, L, sorry. I didn't hurt you too bad, did I? Did I pull any of your hair out?"

L shook his head. "No, Light, I'm okay. It's all right; I know it was just an accident."

"You're _sure _you're okay?" Light pressed.

L chuckled. "Yes, Light, I'm okay! Really, it didn't hurt much."

Light breathed out a sigh of relief. "Thank God. That's the last thing I wanted to do."

He resumed his task and eventually got the knot out before moving on to the other ones in his hair, working at a slow, careful pace so as not to hurt him again. After a minute or so, he got them all out and helped L rinse his hair out, running his fingers through it to help get the shampoo out. His lover's hair now clean, Light retrieved the bar of soap and a bath sponge, lathering the latter up with the former to get it soapy enough for use.

Placing the bar back on the wall, he gently held L's shoulder while running the sponge over the back and sides of his neck. Once again, L closed his eyes at the pleasant sensations of Light cleaning him. He felt it move over his shoulders and down his back, blushing a bit when it moved past his waist and over his rear.

Light was tempted to touch him, but he maintained his self-control and knelt down to continue past his thighs and down the backs of his legs to his ankles. Running it up and over a few more spots, he turned L around to face him.

He ran the sponge over his forehead, cheeks, and chin before getting his throat and moving down. He made sure to get under and around his arms before trailing the sponge over his smooth chest. L sucked in a breath as the sponge moved lower, feeling it glide down to his chest and pelvis.

By the time Light moved it over his hips and down to his genitals, he was blushing like mad. Light moved it over the soft flesh and felt it begin to harden under the sponge.

He looked up at L from his crouched position and smiled saucily. "Sensitive down there, huh?"

L looked away, his face practically red now.

Light just laughed and continued cleaning him off, working on his endowments for a few moments longer before going over his thighs, legs, and all the way down to his feet. He asked L to lift a foot up so he could completely scrub under and around it, doing the same with the other when he was finished with the first. Standing up, he placed the sponge back on the wall with the soap bar and shampoo.

He maneuvered L's body so the water reached every part of him, the soap rinsing off and pooling at their feet to wash down the drain. When he was completely free of soap, Light couldn't help but scan L's wet body, admiring the way the water droplets ran down his pale body and curved before they hit the tub.

He also noticed that a certain part of L hadn't quite gotten over Light touching it there. He smiled when an idea came to his mind of just how to fix that problem.

L noticed the smile and tilted his head curiously to the side. "What is it, Light?"

Light stepped forward so his body was almost flush up against L's and wound his arms around his back. "Mind if I try something?" he asked seductively.

L gulped. "A-And what might that be?" he stuttered a little nervously.

Light laughed, putting a finger over L's lips. "It's a surprise. I think you'll like it."

L slowly nodded his head in confirmation as Light removed his finger from his lips to kiss him there before moving to his neck. L moaned as his lips trailed downward, feeling them run slowly down his collarbone and over his chest. Light looked up at him to see L's eyes glazed over in lust and smiled as he continued.

L quietly gasped when he noticed Light's expression. It was one of hunger and pure lust, both of which were for him. He probably should have found it quite sensual and maybe even sexy, but for some reason, he began to feel very nervous and his body slightly shook.

His heart rate sped up as Light got closer and closer to his arousal, not sure that he was quite ready for this yet. He wanted Light in every way possible and was thoroughly enjoying what he was doing to him, but this was just too much for him right now. "L-Light," he tried calling out his name.

Unfortunately, it turned into more of a moan, which only spurred Light on. L swallowed hard and tried again. He knew he got Light's attention when he stopped his actions and looked up at him.

He noticed a nervous, uncomfortable look on L's face. "You all right, L?" he asked.

"Light, I..." L slightly trailed off.

He looked away, knowing what he wanted to say but feeling almost afraid to say it in fear of Light rejecting him. But if he didn't say anything, Light wouldn't know what was wrong and wouldn't be able to help him. Taking a deep breath, he prepared himself for what was to come and looked back down at Light.

"Light, I like what you're doing. I really do. But... I just don't think I'm ready for it yet. I'm sorry, you must be angry with me..."

Light quickly stood up and took him into his arms, kissing him passionately. L responded, not quite sure what Light thought of him. Light pulled back, stroking L's cheek as he spoke to him.

"No, L," he shook his head. "I'm not mad at you. In fact, if anything, I'm glad you spoke up instead of letting me do something you weren't comfortable with me doing. This is a two-person relationship, L; if I do something that makes you nervous or uncomfortable, tell me to stop and I'll stop."

L sighed, resting his chin on Light's shoulder as he returned the embrace. "Thank you for understanding, Light," he whispered. "I guess I'm just not ready for that step in our relationship yet. Maybe next time..."

Light stroked his hair and kissed his temple, whispering back. "Hey, whenever you feel ready. I'm certainly not going to force anything on you."

L lifted his head from Light's shoulder and stood up on his tiptoes to kiss him. "I believe you still need to be cleaned off," he said, kissing him once more and grabbing the bottle of shampoo.

* * *

About ten minutes later, both men exited the bathroom, feeling refreshed from their shower. L was dressed back in the clothes he'd worn yesterday - and the day before that, technically - as he didn't have anything here in Light's suite.

Light, on the other hand, was still naked. He hadn't brought any clothes with him into the bathroom and rummaged through the drawer to find some.

"Are you sure you don't want to borrow anything of mine?" he asked as he began picking out an outfit for the day. He'd asked the same question in the bathroom a few minutes ago and received a negative answer. He figured he would get the same result, but asked anyway out of courtesy.

"No, thank you," L shook his head, smiling as Light bent over to look for something in the top drawer. He was _definitely_ enjoying the view. "I'm all right in these."

Light felt L's eyes on him and looked over his shoulder to catch him staring right at his ass. Realizing a little too late that he'd been caught, L looked off to the side and pretended to be interested in something else. Light smiled at his embarrassment.

"It's okay to stare, L," he informed him. "I'm glad you like what you see."

L glanced back at Light and gave him a small smile as he continued to rifle through the drawers. A couple minutes later, he found something suitable and put it on. He decided on khaki dress pants, a light blue button-down shirt, and a white T-shirt to wear underneath of it.

He turned to L and was about to ask him a question when he heard the detective's stomach rumble. He chuckled and shook his head. "Well, I was about to ask if you wanted to go get breakfast, but I think your stomach just answered that for you."

"Yes," L glanced down at his stomach, "I suppose so. I've suddenly found myself very hungry."

Light smiled as he took L's hand in his. "Then let's head downstairs and get something to eat. I'm sure they have something here that'll appeal to your partiality toward sweets."

* * *

**And... yeah. Sorry, I can't think of anything else to say. See you for the next update!**


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